In This Moment

In This Moment

Clayton Wilcox

We are in a moment when we can choose to move closer to fulfilling the promise set by the words “… that all men are created equal; …” And while there is debate about the intention of the men who penned those words - regardless of their intent, the phrase today can and is a calling to a better place and time where all men and women “are created equal; that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.“ 

Yet this begs the question – what can I do to move us in the direction of a more perfect union? First, I can recognize that I have a place in the work to move us ahead. Second, I can come to understand that words matter and sometimes the absence of speaking up matters. And third, I can accept responsibility for my words and the consequences of those words and vow to not make the same mistakes again.

I choose to act when and where I can – beginning in my own small way. I am going to own and act on the fact that my spoken word or my silence may be hurtful to another person, whether it’s because of a through throw-away comment, a missed opportunity to support and validate another or through perceived indifference by my silence. Starting now, when someone makes me aware that my choice of words or inaction were hurtful to another person, I am going straight to the person my words or inaction hurt; to hear why they feel as they do. I will strive to let them know that I heard them. I won’t argue my rationale or my history, I won’t try to defend my comments or inaction in that moment. I will listen and to understand. I will honor their trust and vulnerability in sharing their feelings and perceptions with me.

I will then offer a straight-forward apology for my words or inaction and for the hurt I caused them. I will offer my commitment then and there to becoming a more thoughtful, sensitive, and caring friend and colleague. 

Clayton Wilcox