New Beginnings, New You.
The new year is a chance for new beginnings. Just because something was one way before does not mean it’s the only way. Your path is not set-in stone – circumstances may say “no that is the way it is” or “for people like me there aren’t the options available to others.”
I say “No.” Circumstances are just that – temporary conditions you find yourself in, they are not your destiny. And believing that’s just the way it is – is in your head – and it’s based on a learned behavior - the assumption made by you that it has always been that way – and that is just not true for you or for anyone. Even when the assumption is shared by others, even when it widely accepted and held as doctrine. In every life there have been moments of peace, abundance, and happiness in every life. Perhaps not with the consistency we would like or defined materially. Go back and think about your thinking (remember our conversation about metacognition – thinking about your thinking). Find the moments of personal peace, find moments where you were joyful or enjoyed what you had and use them as your springboard to change your current circumstance.
If you want to lose weight, reconcile with a family member, gain greater financial stability or start a new business. Know it begins with seeing that change in your mind. See yourself as thinner and healthier, see your family happily together, or seeing yourself taking control of your finances. There is truth in the old adage – you have to see it before you can achieve it. Then, and here is the hard part – you have to change your mind about the voices internally and externally you listen to and your will follow habits.
Changing your mind simply means this – you have to allow yourself to begin seeing yourself as what you hope to become. You can no longer see yourself as you did. Psychologists and experience tell us - you will follow and become your centrally dominant thoughts. Which in practice means that if you see yourself as thinner, you will become thinner. If you see yourself as living in a family situation that is more positive, your family life will improve. If you see yourself as becoming more successful, you will become more successful. Not simply because you see yourself as those things but because you will begin to live out the choices necessary to become what you see. Why? Because you will begin to subconsciously do the things that accompany these desires. Your subconscious mind will take you places your conscious mind had found excuses to ignore.
You really do know where you need to go and what you need to do – you just have to listen to those internal voices. If you truly listen and act accordingly – with honesty and integrity you will over time develop the habits necessary to your success and enable your dreams. Don’t believe me? Think about how you got to where you are now – have you been listening to the voices that said, that’s good enough or I can’t, I’m not good enough, my people have never been able too. My guess is that you have – maybe not all the time, but enough of the time that you have denied yourself some area of personal or professional growth.
On any journey there will be setbacks and obstacles. There will be haters and naysayers along the way. There will be those who say you shouldn’t or you can’t. They will tell you it’s not worth the effort or that just not worth it. Outside voices amplifying the current mindset. It will be hard to make the changes necessary to live your best life. Perhaps damn hard.
Changing your mind is hard. Your experiences and all those outside voices have wired your mindset. Listening to a quiet voice in the back of your head seems counterintuitive when it runs against what you “know.” It is however what you have to do to move beyond where you think you are.
When that little voice in the back of your mind says, “stay away from the potato chips,” or “don’t eat that breakfast bagel with extra cream cheese,” when that voice within you says, “call your mom or dad and say you’re sorry” – you must listen and act. When your mind says – hold off on that purchase, you don’t need another phone or device newer car just now, when you know you need to learn more to earn more – listen and act. And then you must consistently lean into that inner voice when it begs you to follow-up – to make healthier eating choices, to keep the lines of family communication open and to actually study the situation or enroll in that course. Leaning in is the beginning of building the habits which will empower your success. It is the action that allows the voice to become louder and change the direction of your centrally dominant thoughts – ultimately changing the circumstances you have come to know as borders to your success.
