Maybe the best first step in trying to be a better you, is to first be kind to yourself

When you’re facing challenges or making decisions which have a big impact on your life or on other people’s lives, it's easy to feel anxious and harbor self-doubt and even to start beating yourself up only to be paralyzed with fear and foreboding. Then missing the moment where you may have made a positive difference in your own life or the life of someone important to you. 

When you start worrying about all the things you can’t control – the politics, what other people might think, the reasons other people aren’t being kinder or more compassionate, or even why they aren’t wearing a dang mask in public when there is clear scientific evidence that it’s better for everyone if they do -it’s just dang hard to be your best you. 

Maybe the best first step in trying to be a better you, is to first be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you are doing the best you know how to do – acknowledge that you trying to do the right thing, consistently.  Acknowledge you aren’t intentionally harming others. Acknowledge that despite your best efforts you cannot do it all – admit that you are human.

By being kind to yourself – by being personally empathetic with yourself – I think you will become a happier, healthier and most importantly better human.

Treating yourself well doesn’t come easy to everyone – it takes time and practice. It stems from knowing who you really are and sometimes – who you are not. We will have to acknowledge this too – this inner peace – the balance created by knowing who you are and then treating yourself kindly - doesn’t come naturally, it’s a skillset you have to practice. Not long ago I wrote about metacognitive practice – the practice of thinking about your thinking. And if you have great. If you haven’t let me encourage you to begin thinking about why you think what you think – to better understand who you really are, why you do what you do, and why you sometimes think what you think when everyone around you thinks something else – or thinks the same things. Then let me ask you to take a next step to help you deal with facing challenges and making big decisions. 

PRACTICAL APPLICATION

Simply begin by taking three slow deep breaths. On the first breath, notice how you're feeling. On the second breath, remember that you aren't alone, that other people are going through similar challenges, they are feeling the same worry that you are - they are worried about the politic, what others think. Why kindness is so hard to find and they are worried about the pandemic – know that you are not alone in this moment. And on the third breath, ask yourself, "What would it look like to be kind to myself right now? What do I have to do to treat myself well right now? Then take your answer and put it into practice. 

As a good human, part of your daily job is to take care of yourself — why not tend to that practice today so you are better able to take care of yourself and the others who are counting on you.

Get on with your better self – breathe.