It’s called leadership.

Just because someone carries it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.

Up to this point, we have talked about what may have been an unexpected fall from grace in your career, we’ve talked about the causes – those that were unintentional and those that may have been intentional. 

We have talked about the emotional and physical damage losing a job or position can have on you. We have talked about the personal and professional repercussions that the fall from grace delivers oftentimes with vengeance. If you’ve experienced this disappointment on a large or small scale, you know how devastating it can be. If you haven’t – well thanks for staying with me and I hope you have learned how best to avoid the “fall.” I hope you have also learned that those who have tumbled from the pedestals of leadership …  don’t always show their true feelings to the world for a variety of reasons but tumbling from the leadership pedestal always hurts – sometimes badly. 

Setting aside the instant trauma of not knowing what’s next, you begin to reflect on some deeper wounds - the years advancing in your field of expertise and working long days and nights to achieve success now taken, the sacrifices demanded and the dues one pays to become a leader now wasted. Few leaders that I know; know that the end is near – leaders by their very nature are problem solvers, they are fixers and optimists even in the most dire of circumstances believe that they can fix what is wrong or has gotten off track so being caught-off guard and sometimes blindsided by an unanticipated and unprovoked career assault can be devastating – leaving even the strongest leaders weak-kneed and both mentally and emotionally spent. Yet for most leaders, the characteristics that enabled their rise to a position of leadership – grit, resilience, perseverance, stamina, hard work and integrity are the secret sauce that compels them to rise again. To get up and face the challenges and indeed the challengers again. You regain your bearings, pick yourself up, and tend your business, it’s time to start thinking about what’s next. Where do you go from here?

 Being positive in a negative situation is not naïve. It’s called leadership.

 As you evaluate the circumstances that led to your fall from grace, it’s not only prudent to assess your personal and professional conduct to see if anything needs to be changed, it is the wisest course of action. The leader who doesn’t see this as an opportunity for growth is bound to live it again. There are few among us who couldn’t benefit from the opportunity to redo a few of the situations life has handed us. 

Begin by taking a close look at your sense of self and make the needed adjustments. For example, if you feel insecure as a result of recent events, take steps to rebuild your confidence by accepting a lead role in smaller community activities or business events. If you feel slighted and unappreciated, honestly think about why you feel that way – did you not give the initiative your best effort or treat others the way you would have wanted to be treated? You might even consider why you need others to validate your actions and contributions. 

Consider too, what your peers and colleagues have said in their criticism of you, particularly regarding your leadership skills. Honestly consider what others have said. Acknowledge that even when your intentions were pure, words and actions can unconsciously come across in different ways to those around us. Maybe you honestly believed your leadership style was direct and focused; while some of your colleagues interpreted your actions as abrupt and dismissive. Sometimes we say and do things in ways that make sense to us but we miss the target with others, who interpret us differently. And that gives us an opportunity to improve as a leader.

Examine the strength of the link between you and your best self – are you the still the honest person you were, do you still work hard and contribute to positive outcomes, do you act with integrity? Do you project confidence in difficult moments and do you persevere? If you answer these questions positively – you’re on your way back to leading meaningfully again.

 Acknowledge the disconnect between intention and action to decide how to bridge it in future interactions.

 It’s all too easy to get bogged down in disappointment and self-criticism, but don’t let negativity rule your life – take charge of your story and how it’s being lived. 

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Your Whole Career Should Matter

Your whole leadership journey should matter. All of the people you have worked with; the challenges you have wrestled with, the highs and lows, the agreements and the disagreements, the successes and the disappointments make you who you are. I know and most of you reading this have known far more good people than bad people, you have had far more agreements than disagreements, and you have had far more successful outcomes than great disappointments. However, few, if any of us are proud of every single moment, every single relationship and every single hard-won agreement that we have come too - no matter how distinguished our career. 

Careers can be marred by an irreverent comment made in the heat of a moment or an anger response in a moment disappointment. There have been and will be moments when you know you could have done more and moments where you know you should have done less. These moments should not define you.

I’m not talking about reckless and irresponsible behavior in this post – nor am I in any way condoning hostile or despicable acts in the workplace. We should all stand against those who create, participate or otherwise enable sexual or otherwise abusive climates, we must stand firm against racist behavior and practices, we must call out and condemn immoral and unethical behavior.

But we should also know and respect the difference between a momentary lapse in judgment and an overt and intentional act of impropriety or hostility. We live in a cancel culture that is making it to easy to simply toss away a lifetime of work for a moment’s failure. Not every sin in the workplace is a mortal sin. Yet I am beginning to see that in today’s often hypercritical culture that the rush to judgment doesn’t allow for human error followed by forgiven or even an ounce of grace. 

On balance, most of us have done far more good than we have done badly. And perhaps that should earn us a little forgiveness or a small allowance of grace. I think we should remember that if we honestly believe that a whole career matters - some will have to remember that they too have imperfections and there will be a day when they too will wish we weren’t so quick in our rush to judgment. I know. I’m trying.